Seamus Mullins 
Wilsford Racing Stables


An Ode to my leaving Assistant Trainer

Posted by Seamus Mullins on March 2, 2017 at 7:45 AM

An Ode to my leaving Assistant Trainer, an ode to Paul

Well, it’s finally happened, he’s walked out the door,

Quick change the locks, before he’s back for more.


After four long years, finally I’ll see his back,

Yes every week, I’ve given him the sack.


“I’m back Seamus, I know you were jokin’”,

He’s made me fume, he’s left me smokin’.


He says, “Four long years, early mornings no more”,

Say what you want , still changing locks on door!


I’d shout, c’mon Paul stop this farse,

Else you’ll have, my boot right up ya backside!


He’ll ride anything out, without a fuss,

He’d be safer though, on a number 7 bus!


Lester Piggott?, he takes a flyer,

Can his bum, get much higher?


Riding a finish, you can hear his banter,

Only meant to be, a damn steady canter.


Listen to my instructions; I said “Go slow”,

Wasting my time, makes it up as he goes.


“Straight up the gallops, stay on the right course”,

I may have bloody well spoken, to the damn horse!


His mucking out is poor, 1 out of 10,

He mucks out one, I do it again!


The office will be so quite, he’s always made a din,

Now for once, I may actually get a word in.


Unlock the biscuit tin, enough for all,

No longer, “One for me, five biscuits for Paul”.


The dogs will lose weight, no biscuits no cake,

They’ll be own their own now, no fuss will we make.


No barking, no whining, no scratching the door,

Simply all waiting, for Paul’s crumbs on the floor.


I’m hope Steph you’re watching, Paul sweeping the floor,

Cos once he has gone, for you there’s a chore.


Steph, when washing the cups, please use fairy,

When you read this, don’t you dare get lairy.


Catering Manager? Well, he makes the tea,

“No biscuits for you, but a couple more for me”




From this ode, tis plain to see,

Just how much he meant to me !


Party party party, lets crack on,

Yes its true, he’s finally gone.


There’ll be no more hard work, no more sloggin’,

As Paul is now a Trainer!, for professional doggin’.


You’ll see, top trainer, at doggin’ for sure,

I paid him too much, but I’m sure he’ll earn more.


With Reggie an owner, they are bound to court trouble,

In that new doggin van, my how that will wobble.


Travelling the country, with dogs that can fly,

Regular features, I’m sure both live on Sky.


Well it’s finally over, the end of an era,

Let’s raise the roof, can we be any cheerier.



So go forth Fatboy, work hard and get sloggin’

Go forth Fatboy, shake up the world of doggin.


Some bloody great memories, a tear in my eye,

Four years of laughter, how time does fly.


A thorn in my side, he’s been such a pain,

But one thing is true, he can entertain!





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1 Comment

Reply Mick
2:51 AM on March 4, 2017 
A trainer who rhymes and can write a good ode,
Much better it seems than the way he once rode.

His assistant has left and I'm sure he is sad,
Perhaps giving a chance to an upcoming lad.

His blog is quite cool and quite under-rated,
Can't say the same for his clothes that are dated.

A big day ahead, and what will it yield?
I'll be joining the cheers - c'mon Chesterfield.